T'is the season to make really stupid decisions

So I have just about come to terms with the fact that we will never be healthy again, and if I continue to stay home and rest until we're all feeling better we will never again leave the house and by God this house is just too small to allow that to happen. So yesterday when my cousin called me up and asked us to come spend the night at her place so we could take our kids to see the Santa Claus Parade in the morning and threw in a few hours of babysitting so Adam and I could get out for a bit, I agreed.

I called Adam at work to ask/tell him about the arrangement and then I began the monumental task of preparing for a night away from home.

"Goober, want to go have a sleepover at K's house?"
"YEAH!!!!"
"OK. Then go pack up some clothes and jammies."

And that's when things went to shit.
...
"I want this dress"
"That's a summer dress. We're going to watch a parade, you need warm clothes."
"BLLLAAAGHATE!!!!!NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!AAAAAGGGGGHH!!!"
....
"UP UP UP UP UP!"
...
"Did you pack PJ's?"
"I can't find my doggie jammies. I NEED my doggie jammies!"
"Can't you take your kangaroo jammies?"
"BBLLLLLLLAAAAGHTHATE!!!!!NNNNOOOOOOO!!!!!AAAAAAGH!"
...
"Mooch, will you eat something, please?"
"uh un! uh un! UP UP UP UP!"
...
Are the diapers in the dryer dry? No of course not. Where are the overnight bags? Buried in the storage room. Got butt wipes? Nope, have to make some.
...
"UP UP UP UP UP!"
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Packing for Adam, boy if you could ever put your laundry in the god damned drawers. No clean socks? When the hell did I last do laundry anyway? like 3 days ago?
...
"UP UP UP UP UP UP UP!"
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"Mommy I can't get my movie to play. Mooch broke the DVDV player."
Oh No, no no no no. How will I ever get anything done without the help of Disney?
....
Get 2 minute shower with Mooch pounding on the shower stall.
"UP UP UP UP UP UP!"
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Packing for myself. When was the last time I bought myself clothes? Years. Broken-down jeans and paint-spattered sweatshirt it is.
...
"UP UP UP UP UP UP UP!"
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Pack up traveling drugstore necessary to get us through the night.
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Need snowsuits. Where are they? Do they fit? Hats? Mitts? Umbrellas? Blankets? Boots? Stroller? No, Adam fell on the stroller and cracked the bloody wheels off. Sling? over snowsuit, uuum?
...
Blankies. For the love of all that is good in the world don't forget the blankies!
...
"WAAAHHH"
"What happened?"
"Mooch was too close to me."
"What did you do to her?"
...
"UP UP UP UP UP UP UP UP!"
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Dinner? Fuck Dinner. McDonalds in the car it is.
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Dry Hair? Why bother? It's raining. All attempts at killing the curlfrizz will be futile anyway.
Make-up? To offset my scruff wardrobe and undone hair? Nope.
...
"UP UP UP UP UP UP UP!"
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Change diaper, why the hell did I already pack up all the wipes, diapers, cream etc.?
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Enough seats in the van? NO. Dig more out of the garage.
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Feed and water cats.
...
"UP UP UP UP UP UP!"
Change Mooch's clothes upon realizing she's dumped out all the cat's water.
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Every one in the car? Yes, Good. Shit! No baby bottles or food.
...
Answer phone. "You're pregnant?!! Are you freaking insane?!"
...
We did eventually get out the door and picked Adam up from work (2.5 hours after his shift ended, sorry!) got where we were going and even managed to convince Mooch to go to sleep in the playpen.
Then Adam and I headed out to see a movie, only to find all the theaters packed up with some James Bond shit. So we went to a bar and sat and drank and even spoke to each other a little. After a couple hours of this bliss we went back and curled up together in a single bed with a bitchen Dora canopy and attempted to sleep for a few hours next to a restless whiny baby.

Two 5 year olds decided morning had arrived long before sunrise and we started a new day.

While I was driving Adam across town to work I couldn't help but notice that it was pouring rain, but maybe it would stop before the parade? No. We told the little girls that the parade might be cancelled because of the rain.
"BBBBLLLAHNNNNNOOOOOOSANTA!!!etc."
So we grabbed umbrellas and a poncho or 2 and staked out a place to sit on a soggy blanket and tried to prevent the kids from floating their boots down the stream in the gutter for a couple hours.
"I don't want my hood up!"
"My feet are wrinkly!"
"My hands are cold!"
"But I want to eat the candy cane now!"
"Do you want to go home?" please, please,please...
"NNNOOOOO!!"
I spent the last quarter of the parade sitting in the van with Mooch, but the big girls stuck it out to the very end and returned sodden and freezing only after Santa had passed by.
The kids fell asleep in the car and I headed straight home. There to deal with crankiness, tantrums and a little vomiting, just for fun.
Remind me not to leave the house ever again.