Monday, February 23, 2009

It's absolutely disgusting, which means it must be super healthy right?

Last night I was innocently playing around on my computer when my nose was brutally ass raped. I know you're wondering if such a thing is possible, but trust me it is.

Oh Shit! Noooo! Not again! Not more Rotting Sewage Soup!
This is the third time this month that Adam has brewed up this vile concoction. By the time I realized what was happening it was too late to stop it and the stench had already permeated every corner of the house. There was nothing I could do but update my Facebook Status to:

Christine is wondering why adam insists upon torturing me with stinky disgusting soup. 10:45pm

People who were out of smelling range expressed interest:

Pon at 11:45pm February 22
i'm dying to know what he is making

Christine at 11:48pm February 22
he's not actually making it for me, it's just the fact that he's making it at all that's the problem. It has onions and garlic and spinach and squash and quite possibly some donkey piss and the whole house reeks. I'm 3 rooms and a floor away and my eyes are still watering.

Melanie at 8:29am February 23

Kristin at 3:02pm February 23
Why is he making such horrible soap?

Christine at 7:16pm February 23
Not soap, soup. And who knows why Adam does things? He's just weird, hadn't you noticed?

So I asked Adam what the hell was actually in the soup that possesses such a pungency that it curls paint and causes the hairs inside one's nose to shrivel up and die:

Adam: It's not that bad!

Me: Are you insane? Has your proximity to the soup killed your sense of smell entirely?

Adam: Well it's mostly cabbage, then there's zucchini, potatoes, celery, onions, garlic, and whatever else I feel like throwing in.

Me: What about the rancid sheep testicles, cheap cologne, hot tar and cat shit?

Adam: It's not that bad! It's just vegetable soup.

Me: That's not normal vegetable soup! Normal people make soup with carrots and tomatoes and peas and other things that don't smell like vomit.

Adam: Tomatoes tend to overpower the flavour as well as the scent.

Me: Yes! That's it! Tomatoes get rid of stink right? You use tomato juice to wash off skunk spray! For the love of God your soup needs tomatoes!

Because there is no way to post scent on a blog (luckily for you) here's a picture to help you appreciate the nastiness, and I hope you appreciate it because I put my life in danger by going near the bowl and taking the lid off:

Ya, it pretty much smells like that.

And after a day or so it goes completely black and purplish and he continues to eat it.

Now granted, I have the same sense of culinary adventurousness as the average 4 year old and I would happily live on pizza, ice cream, grilled cheese and goldfish crackers, but there's no way this is just me, right?

1 comment:

the original alien said...

Ok given you know my culinary habits, I wouldn't even eat that!